it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
did you just send me my own nude
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
