You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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