I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
