i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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