All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
