that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize