Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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