my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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