so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
