she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
