She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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