I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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