girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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