you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
