Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
