ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
