Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
