So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
