you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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