They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
