who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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