I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Never underestimate the power of titties
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
