Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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