I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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