I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
