You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize