He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My life is pants optional.
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