I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize