i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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