Do vagina's smell?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
