Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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