we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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