This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
