Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
