My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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