i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
