Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is Oprah even human
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
