i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
