i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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