They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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