shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My dick has a subreddit
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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