She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Floor bacon is actually really good
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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