Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
