everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
