I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
