your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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