why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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