Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
