Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
