seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
