no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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