I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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