Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
