Can i not drive my cunt home
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
