That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
