I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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