Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize