You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
